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Jools Spengler
01 May 2015 @ 19:47
“Find meaning. Distinguish melancholy from sadness. Go out for a walk. It doesn’t have to be a romantic walk in the park, spring at its most spectacular moment, flowers and smells and outstanding poetical imagery smoothly transferring you into another world. It doesn’t have to be a walk during which you’ll have multiple life epiphanies and discover meanings no other brain ever managed to encounter. Do not be afraid of spending quality time by yourself. Find meaning or don’t find meaning but “steal” some time and give it freely and exclusively to your own self. Opt for privacy and solitude. That doesn’t make you antisocial or cause you to reject the rest of the world. But you need to breathe. And you need to be.”

- Albert Camus, Notebooks, 1951-1959

Current Location: ???
Current Mood: dorkydorky
Jools Spengler
21 November 2014 @ 01:09
I feel unspeakably lonely. And I feel - drained. It is a blank state of mind and soul I cannot describe to you as I think it would not make any difference. Also it is a very private feeling I have - that of melting into a perpetual nervous breakdown. I am often questioning myself what I further want to do, who I further wish to be; which parts of me, exactly, are still functioning properly. No answers, darling. At all.
Anne Sexton
Current Mood: cynicalcynical
Jools Spengler
Where I talk about good things, and not so good things. And books.Collapse )

BBs, I hope you're all fine. Stay fabulous!

 photo tumblr_mjocqjrG4S1rot0kgo1_500_zps0d1c3d58.gif
Current Location: the Albany
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: watching: Raffles *swoon*
Jools Spengler
17 October 2012 @ 01:12

Some of you guys really have the best taste in music. I love reading your entries/tumblr and find out about new bands or singers.
I tend to listen to my usual stuff most of the time, but some 80s synth pop and new-to-me opera is quite swell too for a change.
And Tim Curry. I don't know what happened, but I think he was some pretty piece of action in the 70s/80s. Thanks.

Can we talk about redecorating for a second? (I bet you didn't see that coming, did you?)
I like the idea of it, and I like buying paint and wallpapers etc. But I always forget about the now-you-have-to-sort-out-your-books-and-all-the-other-stuff-and-pack-it-in-boxes-so-we-can-move-the-furniture part. So many things so little space.
I still don't know how I have managed to paint the living room and kitchen without destroying half of the furniture.

And how do you sort out books without feeling bad anyway? I think I'll never find out.
They were surprisingly many though. Mostly vampire and Egyptian crime novels I used to read when I was in my teens. Guilty pleasure reads I know I won't read ever again. And some books about animals my father's wife used to give me when I was little.
The local library didn't want them, so I gave some to friends and some to a second hand shop. I also took some with me on my trip to Munich the other week and just placed them on park benches and left some in cafès for people to adopt them.

Most of the never-read-again hardcover editions were used to build a jardinière for my plants. My aspidastria and the spathiphyllum need new pots though. Aka, Jools has to think of a cheap way to make old flower pots look nice. Because I apparently don't have much other things to do in my free time. (or maybe I'm just getting old and start talking to plants and name them after dead romantic poets..)

The i'll-keep-them-til-the-day-I die books are packed neatly in eleven boxes. Eleven. Jesus, so many books. I don't know how that happened. When it happend.
I didn't know that you can't move tea chests properly once you've packed them to the brim with books, thank you. I've meant to put them in the hall until the redecoration madness is over, but now they're too heavy to lift. xD
My room's a maze of tea chests now and looks like a piece of modern art. (that's what Avi said, before he fell over one of the chests. Poor dear.)

Half of my room's already painted, arctic white. (Where's the point ot putting a sexy reclining polar bear on the lid though? It's scary.) It's so nice to look at after having to live with that horrid baby-blue for so long. Clear clean white walls are my new favourite things. (at least until I put my paintings, posters and pictures up again)
The other half has to be rid of three layers of wallpaper yet. Whoever occupied my room before I moved in, had a very questionable love for the colour brown. Brown wallpapers in two layers and then beige paint underneath. Congratulations on the lack of any taste or whatsoever.

Sorting out books had another side effect. I found a copy of Keats selceted works I thought I never had and some long missing Simenon and Dürrenmatt novels I thought I'd left at my ex-boyfriend's place.

More about favourite books next time. Expect an epic rant. Because I can.

I had brunch with Annette on Saturday. Well,  It was actually a tupper-ware party (no plastic cuttlery for Manny though xD) with some friends.  We didn't pay much attention to it though and hung out in the kitchen talking about this and that instead. But I found a christnukkah present for my mum. She's actually one of those people who don't mind getting a blender or kitchen knives as presents.
In the afternoon I went to Passau to meet up with Avi. It was great to see him again and we had a lot to talk about. (he broke up with his boyfriend and is now, as he stated, a very happy single. Bless.)
He brought some tea from his last trip to London, some kosher candy and Tatort films. Oswald! <3 (Eva, wenn du das liest, hast du Weißblaue Turnschuhe und 3:0 Für Veigl schon?)
We had delicious coffee and cake at a little Italian place, bought a tie for Avi and some notebooks for me, then went to a nice little exhibition and had elderberry tea at out favourite café-bookshop-bar near the river.
I really miss having my close friends around.

And other news: I'm going to adopt a dog. Yay! I'm overly excited and so happy about it.
As much as I love Kinski, I've always been a dog person and can't wait to have one again.
Poor cat I hope he'll fogive me. xD

There are several things I don't feel like talking about atm, private things, friends who are behaving like complete morons, health problems and bloody moodswings I seem to can't control. Screw them.
I focus on the good things instead and try to enjoy every tiny bit of happiness I can get.

Thanks for your nice messages, lovely cards and for being around. You're the best.


Current Location: eh?
Current Mood: nostalgicnostalgic
Current Music: Tim Curry - Take Me I'm Yours
Jools Spengler
The lovely spiegelverkehrt and the wonderful pax_athena had a great idea and came up with a sweet, little meme.

Can't you imagine a room without books? Are you also one of those
people who, like us, when entering a flat you've never been in before,
strides towards the bookshelves to take a look at them? And then spends
the whole evening talking about this or that book and exchanging
recommendations? And isn't it terrible, that you'll never have a chance
to take a look at the bookshelves of your LJ friends? Well, at least you
could give them a chance to look at yours ...

See my books, see my books & see more booksCollapse )
Current Location: book land
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: watching: Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde